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December 29, 2008

Comments

Amy

It sounds like an exciting and needed change--so awesome that your executive chef was able to listen, and react well. Great job!

SAS

"No (wo)man is an island...unless she's in charge of canapés."

Grass is always greener when it's in someone else's life, eh? I know that feeling... I hope canapés give you a breather, and a chance to figure out what and how much you want out of this experience. Remember, you can always go back to teaching!

PS - I just checked, and it looks like you'll have to wait for the next round for both Top Chef and Next Food Network Star...More time to practice!

Sheila S.

This is so great! I'm so happy for you!

I've been following your blog for a while, and I'm happy to hear that you've gotten the KICK back - I could use a little confidence myself these days.

lilalia

You also stand alone in your ability to draw us into the kitchen or salon or any other place you wield your knives and leave your heart behind. Great post. And, hat off to you and canapés.

Ms. Glaze

Mon Ami – You are brave to do what you do and to bare your soul as you do here. I admire your pluck salute your determination.
Joesy

Daniel

Great post Amy. hang in there! I have a couple questions. Is chef "ER" working most nights of the week? and also, is he the executive chef that you mentioned in this entry?

Ellen

You're getting it back, Girl! It's that Standing Alone that does it every time :))

Ellen

Scott

Welcome back! Way to rock the canapes!

adele

Great post. I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a rough time. Your writing is as compelling as ever.

Lynda

Thank you for the post - I really enjoy following your blog. Hang in there; it takes a brave, stong person to do what you're doing!

Ms. Glaze

Lynda – Thanks for your encouragement!

Adele – Thanks! And as we all know, transitions are often painful but not without rewards...hopefully I'll start seeing those soon ;-)

Scott – Exactly! I like to think of it as Canapé domination!

Ellen – When you're on your own in the kitchen you can't hide behind anything or anyone as you know. If your mise en place is terrible then it's terrible! I"m happy to have the chance to prove myself!

Daniel – ER is in the restaurant almost all of the time but right now he's finishing a book tour! He is not the executive chef who runs the kitchen daily/nightly or who I'm referring to when I say "executive chef".

Joesy – Merci bien for all the support and encouragement you guys have given me over this last year and, well, over the last 30 or so too... ;-)

Lilalia – Just as actors often learn more about themselves through different roles they play, I seem to have the same experience at different stations and in different kitchens. Thanks for all your support ;-)

Sheila – I definitely got the KICK back. Now if I could just kick this cold I have too I'd be home free!

SAS – I thought about going back to teaching for awhile, but I'm afraid my credential is now expired and – oh, wait – we have no more fulltime electives programs in our high schools anymore!!! Perhaps the Food Network will someday find a need for a French cooking show? For now, I'm under contract for a year and I fully intend to get as much out of it as I possibly can. Who knows, maybe I'll sign on for a second year... we'll see... ;-)

Amy – You're right, I am lucky to work with an executive chef who is interested in creating an environment that is supportive yet challenging.

Lisa

Every night when i get get home from working in the 5 restaurants that i run and am a partner in, i log on to see if youve written. Your stories of working in a Michelin restaurant fulfilled my dreams, as yet unfufilled to be in that venue.I ate your descriptions of the work ,culture commerce and
cuisine...i never tired of it...all alone at night in the dark,reading your writing. Your adventurous bold fearless nature i applauded reveled in, the trips home , the stint in Vegas , and now nyc...you share your life and experience and passion for the kitchen life with all of us...very brave of you ,and generous...youve made me very happy to pass some free time reding your musings of my metier, i could never think of you as alone ...thank you for your blog it was a great gift to discover

Nat

Although I don't work in the food industry, I understand exactly where you are. So much so I almost cried from remembering!
I'm out the other side intact, just, but scars make you stronger, right?
I hope that work becomes a refuge, not a hole...all the best!

gkc

Hi Amy,

This post more or less mirrors a very similar sentiment, tone and situation that my life is in. Its so funny, because I am on a very different end of the spectrum, but I very much feel the same...here's what you need to know, beyond the peripherals of your cutting board, underneath the coats of your colleagues, and at the recieving end of your labor, are people...it shocks me too sometimes, PEOPLE!!! All kinds of people. I spent a long time over the past few months and years trying to figure out how my career path compared to my colleagues from schools, my contemporaries in the kitchens I was working in, and the people who I idolized...then I came to the realization, that there are many ways to get to whatever end destination you might get to...its not about being better than the kid a bunch of years younger than you, or being on the a time track to be as good as Keller (or ER ;-)), its about satisfying the people who get the plates, and yourself. After my epiphany, I made some radical decisions, some I might not have made and in retrospect, are setting me up for some great challenges....I am europe bound to stage, and I am folding the book closed on my growth and advancement within my little restaurant company and community.

Sounds like you've done the same, and that very process is nerve racking. But I implore you to do this, never judge your success or happiness by your relation to those around you. Life is not a race, we all ultimately reach the same fate. What it is, however, is a challenge for each and everyone of us to get the most out of the 24 hours given to us every day to try to make YOUR life the best it can be...

Some of the happiest people I know defy age, convention, and norm on a daily basis...

Later,
GKC

Garrett

I just had to make the big change too. New job, new life, ending a long relationship. I agree, it all sucks, but about 10 months into it all I feel better for it. You will too. =)

Lisa

When I was going through my own, I'm-in-my-30s-what-the-hell-am-I-doing period, a friend who was privy to my doubts and fears told me, "It's never to late to be who you want to be." A cliche, but it rang true. I finished law school, started my own law practice, and I continue to seek ways to build upon my experience and interests.

I often have to remind myself that my life--or an hour, or a day, for that matter--is what I make of it. If I try to accomplish something and things don't turn out exactly as I planned, that's not great, but I can live with it. If I don't even try, that's a much bigger problem. Trust yourself: Things will work out, even if you're not always sure exactly how. Sometimes we have to take circuitous routes to get to our goals.

Sorry if I've rambled a bit, but your post touched a nerve. Take care.

Sarah Vandenhende

Amy - We met briefly at Michael Booth's ( Sacre Cordon Bleu} in Paris. I did Cordon Bleu too. Just to say that your For the First Time.. is good. When life is good - hey what more can you ask. I 'hear' you and must say that you have progressed... perhaps you landed on the real world...keep it up as it will only make you more creative. Life is all about creating, questioning, working and making Art. Your very young and this will not be the last difficult moment.

Sarah vandenhende

BooRadley4000AD

Good for you!

pattara

amy, i really enjoyed this post! it was written so well and you are so dead on!!! i can relate and understand what you are going through in so many ways... from "pick up canape" ;p to "what the hell am i doing here" and now i feel i am wondering why i am not on the same boat as my friends, being that i am in my 30s as well... i admire your strength and ability to reflect on your experience in such a honest and positive perspective. keep it up and take charge of your "island"!
hope the advice given, from the girl who moved back to cali, was helpful and useful hehe ;p "oh yeah!"

Daria

I've been reading your blog for a while even though this is my first post -- you are truly an inspiration. I'm constantly in awe of all you accomplish. I am not a chef, but I was in Paris at Le Cordon Bleu when you were in Paris and after Basic cuisine there I came back to my "real life" in the states.

Just wanted to say Hi and thank you for the amazing work you do at the restaurants and for the blog.

maya

you're one fearless woman!
congratulations.
you've been able to share your ups and downs in such eloquence and humor, unlike what most people are daring and able to do, bravo!
you've been mostly trusting yourself, already...now you deserve to harvest the fruit/s of your labor and passion :-)
go on...and you'll be one of the most satisfied persons in the whole-wide world ;-)

happy new year 2009!

Marla

Brava Amy...big growth spurt, to be able to see your part in your personal drama and be women enough to find your back bone and take the heart to heart as it was probably meant, to help you become who you want to be, and then, share that with the world in such a well written post. I continue to admire you and enjoy sharing your journey in the very tough pressure cooker of the culinary world. Wow,Mz Glaze, you rock!

luis

Damm it Glaze, you can cook. period. enuff said!. People want good food and good places to eat.
A dollar is a dollar and spends like any other dollar. YOur issue is that you think the only dollars worth having are the big taddaa michelin dollars...... get over it girl. Rachel Ray is making millions doing pork chops and mac and cheese to death on the networks.
Why do you put yourself through this shit is beyond me?...??
Stations schmations..... Develop a little business sense and make millions...girl.

Ms. Glaze

Luis – You called it. More than I can even begin to explain. Thanks for always pushing back and reminding me that this is a business where I need to succeed too and not just a burnout dead end :-)......

Teresa

Wow, what a deeply revealing post to read on my first visit! I love food but am not in the food business. Your sense of inner turmoil stirred by the pressures and politics of work is I can relate to right now! All your supporters are right. You're a great cook and can manage your own island. Enjoy yourself and find your own path, with or without stars.

The Art of Successful Cooking

I also went through a huge life change at 30 - that was 10 years ago. Trust me - it gets easier and you never look back.

Jeremy

Just the other day my friend Brad from France and I were sipping some wine, I had suggested we go over and eat at this fish place in the city, three stars. He told me you were there. Welcome and I love this post, I always want to bitch about my work, my boss and all the knuckle heads who work in my Union organized kitchen, but I don't I rave about bread, food and fine food, keeps me from getting into trouble!
Hang in there!

Marsha Calhoun

Brava. I have read your blog for some time; I admire you and your work; I refer to your guidance; I wish you success!

Dave

I just found your blog and wanted to let you know that I find it absolutely inspiring. I, too, am in my early 30's and am leaving a successful career in Finance to also attend the Le Cordon Bleu, however at the Scottsdale Culinary Institute in Arizona. The candor which you discuss your challenges and triumphs give me reassurance that following my heart and dreams is not crazy, and that I'm not alone in my circumstance. I look forward to reading of your imminent successes.

John

Ms Glaze, I love your videos. Please make more. If FoodTV or PBS, preferably PBS doesn't hire you asap they are losing out. You are the only personality who can follow up on Julia in the post-Julia era. No offense to Rachel Ray, and I am sure it would be nice to have her cash, but you have wit, humor, timing, classical training--and speak French. Top chef was pathetically lacking in class for not selecting you, but given what I have seen on that show, its better for you because you still have your dignity. You have several other qualities that set you apart: curious, intelligent, creative, good teacher, fun, willing to reach for a higher bar. I am not going to be suprised at your successful career, but I probably be a bit sad that the tickets to your show will be hard to get.

mike

I remember my first day long ago working the canape station. I hated it. What made me really stunned when reading this was "it's really hard to cook something right when you are terrified of cooking something wrong". So true. Its quite scary. The fear factor in a kitchen is crazy...all the best!

SAS

Wow, what Mike said (what you said) is really true, and the main reason I am happy to retain my amateur status in the kitchen. I can always toss my less than perfect dishes away and eat cheese and apples for dinner! Especially in the milieu you have chosen, the pressure must be enormous. But I will say that your posts have given me the kick in the saute pan I needed to try some other things that I have only dabbled in before - if/when they get going, I'll let you know, but thanks for the inspiration...

editor

what happened? you are in new york now? i've been reading back thru to june 2008 and can't see what happened.
i see you cracked your rib, and you got a new job, but nothing more.
i live in san francisco now but lived in new york city for 6 years and loved every minute of it. i think it's a great place to be in your 30s. very best of luck to you.

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